I’m pretty good about keeping things out of my head, only focusing on what I need to and not worrying about things that are either out of my control, or can be dealt with later. I call it prioritizing my thoughts. I suppose it could also be a form of procrastination!
Yesterday (Monday) I had a court mediation hearing regarding a small claims case that I filed back in October. Long story short, someone owed us money and was not paying us as agreed, so it was time to take legal action.
Because this was something I did not want to do, it took me well over a year to actually file the claim. I just kept putting it off, hoping that this time he’d follow through. No luck.
I received notice of the mediation hearing 2 months prior to the hearing date. So I spent 10 minutes that day putting the appointment on my calendar and arranging for a sub to come in and cover the daycare during my absence. Then I put the whole thing out of my head completely.
It kept trying to pop back in last week, but I forced it out. I told myself I would not think about it again until Sunday afternoon. I knew I had everything together and ready to go, but I wanted to double check and get the address mapped out and get mentally prepared. I have never been through anything like this before. I knew I was going to be very nervous.
Monday was the day. That morning was fine, I didn’t think about it much. But then by 10am I could feel my nerves. By 11am I was feeling anxious. By noon I was ready to go. I couldn’t eat anything, I was feeling so nauseous, and nerves on an empty stomach are never good.
I got to the courthouse and sat in the orientation room. I anticipated that the meeting would go smoothly, since I had emails from this person offering to refund our money, setting up payment arrangements, etc. I didn’t see how he could argue anything. But it’s still the unknown. As each minute passed I was getting more and more anxious. I was sweating, my hands were clammy, I was a wreck!
Long story short, an agreement was made within 10 minutes and the contract drawn up. It all was calm and went smooth.
What amazes me, though, is how something in your head can be so physically draining!
I stopped and grabbed lunch on my way home since I finally felt like I could eat again. It was nearly 3:00pm by then.
My afternoons are very busy with my kids coming home from school, all the kids needing snack, and the daycare kids going home to their families. And then it was 4:20, the last kids had left. It was quiet and I had time to think. And I suddenly felt exhausted.
I’ve been through emotional roller coasters before, where you end up feeling physically drained. And that’s how I felt. First I made myself a coffee, hoping that would energize me a bit. Then I heated up some leftovers for dinner. I decided I was not going to take Brooke to her ballet class, I wanted to stay home. I wanted to put on my fleece pants, cuddle up on the couch with an oversized blanket and watch a movie. So that’s what I did. And I went to bed at 8:30 and slept hard.
But it’s over. For now. And I feel better.
But the human body truly amazes me.